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Wild Women

The growth in this moment is so real, so intense…. like fire… leaving you raw.

Balance requires constant motion, directing energy while letting it go.

Friday was the day that encompassed all emotions, and began with self-doubt and anxiety. It continued with having handle the consequences for choosing to not take the best steps in a situation 3 months prior. Feelings of inferiority started creeping in… from my perceived inability to be a responsible adult. Disappointed in myself, for forgetting… for hiding from it like it would just go away.

So many parallels between my spiritual journey, as above, and my 3D experience, so below.

Hiding from the fact that sometimes I am SO hard on myself. I work to figure things out until I can fully understand them… but that’s when the universe steps in and says…you think you know, but you have no idea. The issue was my immediate reaction was to feel bad about myself, and to feel disappointment in myself for not doing things how I knew they were to be done. And when I think I feel good about myself, and I have figured out how to be most effective at being me…. the universe throws me a new challenge that shows me, I still have a lot of learning to do and a lot more practice balancing all that is my existence.

I was asked to hold a moon ceremony for about 100 women at The Fox Run 2019 on Friday night at 7pm by the amazing Tifani Truelove. The most interesting thing about all of this, is that I had felt like I needed more time to prepare for Friday night’s moon ceremony. I felt nervous and was experiencing a flux in confidence, even though I know this was aligned with who I am. I was trying to overcompensate for my lack of self confidence. Wednesday and Thursday I was mentally exhausted and anxious as to how I would be prepared for such a big, first time experience.

With so much going on in my life, and so much to do… how will I be ready!? I wanted to take off of work on Friday, but I couldn’t do that because there was a lot to do, and I had already taken off on Tuesday for a professional development experience in Philadelphia. I knew I needed to spend time taking care of myself before this weekend began, but there was no time!

Friday morning I was forced to take care of myself… I handled my business and was able to get things straightened out, thanks to some amazing ladies. By 2pm I was able to breath a little easier, which allowed me to reflect on the physical and emotional feelings that came from that whole experience.

I realized the image I was holding onto of myself, by repeating negative thoughts about how I felt bad for making a mistake. This helped me to break down why I felt that way and where it could’ve generated.

Processing my mental, physical and emotional responses, and reflecting on how they are aligned with my highest good. That is healing.

I realized I grew up not feeling like I was doing enough, or always worried I would disappoint someone with my actions. I was replaying old programming from my childhood, of being afraid to make mistakes.

However, as always, I was reminded the universe is on my side…and by 4pm I was home and preparing myself to be open to receiving and giving during the event I was attending that weekend. I was able to get on the road and to the event with perfect timing, arriving an hour earlier than my scheduled ceremony… which is what I had planned the whole week. Realizing that all of my anxiety was a reaction to a lack of confidence in myself.

Now I find myself to be confident, enough…. but this is the deep stuff… the things we ignore because we can put a smile on, and know the universe has our back. Pushing these things away because we know we are love and light, does not help us one bit. It actually takes more light away from us. The most important thing we can do for ourselves is face these deep heavy spaces with brave love.

The Fox Run 2019 is a women’s weekend away in the woods that focuses on community, and living fiercely as wild women. There was dancing, singing, tattooing, photos, workshops, healing and love.

I arrived at 6pm, to find beautiful women… sharing their joys with one another. Empowering one another to be their best, and shine their light bring. Amazing women, organizing a gathering of community, for celebrating and healing.

Friday started balancing out…

The ceremony that was to be at 7pm, was now pushed back to 11pm… which was fantastic, but at the same time there was a little bit of disappointment. I was excited to do the ceremony early and then be apart of the party afterwards… so when I realized it was going to be after the party I started noticing my thoughts.

Part of me was happy, that I had more time to make sure I was centered and aligned for the ceremony. There was a glimpse of disappointment that I didn’t get to join in on the party earlier. Part of me wanted to go take a nap, and rest before the ceremony; especially after the day I had.

So I laid in my tent, closing my eyes and resting with intention to hold space. Then I heard the laughter, and the howling…. I knew then that holding space doesn’t mean I have to seperate myself from the party. What better way to hold space then be surrounded by that which you are holding it for. There is no better gift than to see the joy and freedom a woman feels when she expresses herself fully. I enjoyed the amazing lineup that the ladies at The Fox Run had scheduled, and was blessed to experience each part.

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And then it was time… to gather by the fire, and offer up our intentions and prayers. Prayers for healing, letting go, moving forward, and remembering we are wild women.

The ceremony was powerful…

It was wonderful seeing so many women come together in prayer, to support one another and remember we are all connected. Women started sharing their stories, one by one… speaking them into the tobacco, then throwing them into the fire, releasing them to the universe and being open to receiving the gifts that are available for each of us. At that moment I was in perfect harmony with the universe. I knew everything was in perfect order… and I once again realized the power of letting go and trusting.

I am so grateful for the opportunity to lead these amazing women in this opening ceremony, and to be able to share who I am and see myself in the beautiful mirrors of my community.

… and that was only FRIDAY!

On Saturday my dear friend Eli from EliArtSparkle joined the adventure. We set up a vending tent to do henna and sell Eli’s handmade mushroom jewelry! Saturday started off slowly… but we made many new friends!

One of my favorite parts of Saturday was The Bridge is the Key, Guided Sound & Writing  Meditation with Krystle Sights.

Krystle led such a beautiful meditation that was profound and eye opening for each of us in that tent. Krystle’s voice and use of the singing bowl and tuning forks really opened my energy to receive. The message for me was to nurture my inner child by using my imagination, and including my daughter in the things I do, in order to help her navigate this world. She is also helping me to remember how to navigate myself in this world.

So many times my parents have said that my daughter reminds them of me…I remember what I felt like when I was little… I realized she is teaching me to remember to nurture my inner child, while I get to teacher her ways to help her remember who she is, and to always feel confident in her power.

Saturday night dancing was a blast… free, fierce and fabulous women dancing to the beat, and burning a giant wolf that was made for the event. This wolf was well crafted, and it was powerful seeing 4 women carrying it to the fire. When they needed help, there were no hesitations… women jumped right up to assist in the placement of this effigy.

As the wolf burned, a passage was read from the book, Women who run with wolves…

“What does this wildish intuition do for women? Like the wolf, intuition has claws that pry things open and pin things down, it has eyes that can through the shields of persona, it has ears that hear beyond the range of mundane human hearing. With these formidable psychic tools a woman takes on a shrewd and even precognitive animal consciousness, one that deepens her femininity and sharpens her ability to move confidently in the outer world.”

and we all howled, releasing once more the expectations we’ve grown into.

This weekend I also did a few henna designs, and would’ve loved to have done more! Though everything is in perfect timing. <3 and I am so grateful <3

This weekend was profound, and definitely one that has changed my life. It has shown me that I am meant to lead… I am meant to share… I am meant to bring beautiful people into sacred space, so they might be able to dig deeper into their being and find healing from within themselves.

On my way home, as I reflected on the events a HUGE bald eagle flew over me.  I immediately pulled over and offered tobacco to say thank you, I am open to receiving the messages you have for me.

I am ready to explode with life from within my being… to live boldly, bravely, and fully in my power every moment.

<3 Migwetch and Gi’zaagi’in

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Hot Pickles at Codorus

After weeks of energy shifts, this weekends energy was well received.  I spent the weekend in the woods at Codorus State Park with my family and friends. We rented a tent site in loop A, and stayed Friday night and Saturday night. Friday night we set up our camp, and had smores with the kids!

My littles &lt;3

My friends Billy, Pj and Sabrina were also camping at Codorus and invited us to come and hang with them.  Billy has a T@G teardrop camper… if you don’t know… a teardrop is an awesome little trailer unique like its name, and it comes in all different styles.  I am planning my own custom design for the near future!

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After the kids were asleep I went to have Pickles and hot sauce with Billy, Pj and Sabrina. Billy makes his own pickles, and they are gourmet! Chesapeake style or dill… I have never tasted a pickle so well made! My friend Pj makes his own hot sauce, and even though I am not one for spicy things, I have to say his hot sauce was also delicious. Team Hot Pickles has been formed. Saturday morning I had delicious sausage and eggs that Sabrina wok’ed up. I am so fortunate to have such talented friends who spoil me with their concoctions!

 

Saturday afternoon we went for a kayaking adventure! Billy and I had an inflatable two person kayak, the Challenger K2 by Intex. I never knew that they had inflatable kayaks! I was a bit nervous, especially after Billy informed me that he was cursed with a lack of balance over water, but we did pretty well!! We were out for about an hour or so and the kayak was very comfortable…and we did NOT tip over. It was also easy to inflate and deflate and is now on my list as one of my next adventure purchases.

Saturday evening Element and I had to leave to try on her costume for her dance recital in June! She is getting so big! Afterwards we headed right back to camp. I love that my kids enjoy being outside as much as I do!

When we returned, we went fishing with Theo, Artorious and Landyn. It was really nice seeing the kids all fishing together. We didn’t catch anything, but we’re getting better at casting.

Theo bought me a water purifier, so I was able to try it out. I was a little nervous scooping up that lake water, but I drank from the filter and didn’t get sick!  I guess that’s enough of a trial to tell if it works or not.

Sunday was a nice day, as we packed up and headed home in time for me to get to Firefly Hollow for a painting workshop!

Overall my weekend was fantastic! A perfect weekend to rest and recharge in nature and with great people. The universe always balances out…

Thank you Theo, Landyn, Element and Artorious for choosing me to be your momma. <3 #TeamNuit

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Thank you Billy, Pj and Sabrina for welcoming me as apart of your crew. <3 #teamhotpickles

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9… 8…

Yesterday was 8/8….and if you add 2+0+1+5 you get 8.

What an awesome date!    8/8/8

It was also a busy day as well… I hosted a maryland flag and crab painting party at The Stone Mill.  It was a wonderful evening meeting new people, making new connections and creating new things!

So yesterday I did not have time to post my list of 9 things for my countdown…Which means you’ll get two lists today,

9 things I’ve enjoyed about summer vacation:

  1. Spending time with my family
  2. Teaching adults how to paint
  3. Seeing their faces light up when they finish their painting and realize they CAN do it.
  4. Meeting many new and amazing people who I can call friends
  5. Traveling to Texas and networking with yearbook advisors
  6. Hanging out with my friend Amber in Fort Worth
  7. Traveling to California
  8. Visiting the Getty Villa in Malibu
  9. Exploring life with my family

8 things I want to do in the next 8 days

  1. Finish reading “The Traveler’s Gift”
  2. Go hiking on the Appalachian Trail with my family
  3. Paint more expressively (as opposed to paint night paintings)
  4. Plan a few things for the first week of school
  5. Go camping with my family
  6. Spend time with my new friends
  7. Start a painting for the Teacher as Artist Exhibit
  8. Work on Yearbook spread layouts

I think I can handle doing at least one of those things a day, if not two or more!

Happy Summer!! <3 <3

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Camping Much!

Its been looking like July is the month for camping! Though I really want to go to the beach!

So we went to Codorus again! This time with the kids! Landyn is 6 years old and Element just turned 2.  Landyn asked all day to go camping he was so excited to go! He woke up early and made everyone get up and get dressed and packed!  Little did he know the adventure that waited for him!

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We got to Codorus and no one was there! A huge difference from the first time when it was just me and Theo.  This time we were able to go back into the “roughing it” section; which wasn’t really roughing it at all. All roughing it meant was that you were surrounded by more trees and you were further from any bathhouse.  The sites were huge and very secluded! We were in site #9, it was nice because there was an open area where you could see the sky, but the rest was trees.  We were also closer to the water! We took a nice little hike down to the boat launch.

 

 

It was a great afternoon…and then the storm rolled in! We did not check the weather before we left the house…but when we heard the thunder we felt we could handle it. Then the wind started picking up! All the while we were trying to cook dinner!! We had chicken breasts on the campfire and ramen noodles cooking!   then it starts POURING! So I pick up Element and Landyn and run to the tent…as quick as I got to the tent, the wind picked up enough to blow over two trees in a site across from us.  Theo yells to me…GET IN THE CAR! So I take the kids and run to the car…I didn’t really think it was that bad..it came in so quickly. Luckily, it left as fast! The chicken cooked, it wasn’t too bad, and we cooked the rest of the noodles on the propane grill after it stopped raining.

 

That evening we took a walk down to the water and it was the most beautiful sunset!

It was a great adventure!! Can’t wait to do it again.  Oh yeah, and Landyn wanted me to mention that he found a slider turtle!

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Happy July

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What a wonderful weekend it has been! I had a great time playing cards with some friends, camping and hiking, and spending time with my family!

We usually travel west to the Appalachian trail…but yesterday we decided to try something new. We headed out to Codorus state park. We have lived in Glen Rock for a year now and have only spent a short amount of time there.

We arrived at the campgrounds around 5pm, and were able to get a tent site but there were only about 3 to choose from. The tent site was $23 for the evening.

Back country camping is more of our thing and Codorus has a “roughing it” loop of sites, but they were all filled. So campsite 13 in loop A was ours for the evening, a large site with lots of space. It’s close to the general store which is a little shed that they use, it’s operated by volunteers. They have a nice selection of things you might have forgotten or ran out of, and they have dark chocolate snickers bars and coke if you need a treat. They also sell wood, a wheel barrel for $10 or bucket for $5.

It was very peaceful last night, after the fireworks. We grilled chicken over the campfire and made Ramen noodles to go with it!

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I always find dinner in the woods on a campfire tastes the best. And we enjoyed the darks chocolate snickers for dessert.

When we woke up this morning we packed up and headed for a little hike. The Mary Ann Furnace trail was beautiful. An easy hike with a few hills and water.

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We are definitely going to be spending more time at Codorus. Thinking our next adventure will be Kayaking!

Happy July!
~Raine Dawn