Emotions - Raine Dawn Valentine

Today went well…

I could tell students were really in shock and didn’t know what to do. They were quieter.

Today I spoke to them about what was happening, and shared where the online art resources were located for them to do over the next two weeks. These digital resource folders were uploaded to each class, and they are for practice only. If students want to use them over the 2 weeks they can, but they are not mandatory.

We discussed how things might be longer than 2 weeks, and we might have to go to online learning if that happens. They’re responses were, “That would not be good. I can’t focus at home. I won’t ever do any work! I need accountability. I’ll get distracted by Minecraft!” Its funny to me because when everything is normal they don’t want to be in school… but when presented with the opportunity to not being school, they realize they might not have the self control to keep learning up to their potential!

Well then shared with them again that the best thing for them to do right now is to take care of themselves mentally and physically. To take time to rest and breath, not allowing themselves to be overwhelmed with stress or fear. Using art to help you express how you’re feeling and how your processing this new experience. I encouraged them to keep a journal about it all, and to spend some time creating art that represents this experience for them.

Also I mentioned they should eat less processed sugar if they can help it, since it does not help their immune system. You should’ve heard how almost every class responded to my sugar comment! It was amazing how defensive they became. So many students said, “What?! Oh No! I dont think I could do that. I love sugar.” If they only knew how much better they would feel if they had less sugar in their diet!

After school was over I realized I needed to take my plants home with me, because there would be no one there to water them for 2 weeks. So many things I had to consider and contemplate today. Even before going to the grocery store at 4pm.

When I parked at Shoprite, I knew what I was getting myself into. There wasn’t too much missing when I arrived. The bananas were gone, and so was all the rubbing alcohol, peroxide, toilet paper, and bread. The rest of the store was pretty much stocked. It was so weird.

And then I went to stand in line… and I had to go pretty much halfway down the aisle to get to the end of the line. I waited in line for about 40 mins at least. Everyone was very friendly and polite. Helping each other find what they needed and waiting line while having small talk. It was nice to see people being kind.

Today went well, but was also very overwhelming.

The amount of information, what ifs and questions I had to process today put my mind on overload, and being around all of those people in the grocery store added a level of emotions that were tough to balance.

When I got home from the store all I wanted to do was sit by myself alone, and cry. Releasing all of that tension and energy back into a neutral space of love and balance.

Being alone to process what we experience and feel is a very important part of learning and growing… of knowing thy self.

The energy of this experience is quite new… so slow and steady is the only way to navigate.

Keep breathing, in and out.

Growing in Grace

We all struggle with our thoughts, emotions, and feelings at one point or another. Sometimes we experience struggles back to back. Sometimes these struggles only come once in a while, but when they present themselves they are heavy and feel overwhelming.

As a person who is constantly questioning and reflecting on my experiences, so that I may see my relationship to this existence more clearly… I often find I do not allow myself to fully feel my emotions when faced with these struggles.

Often when I start to feel overwhelmed with emotions from stressful situations, I tend to reason them away. I tend to reflect so much on the situation that I don’t allow myself to fully feel and process my emotions. I starting realizing this pattern as I was presented with trying situations the past two weeks.

In the moments of emotional struggle that hardest part for me to reconcile is that I feel like I shouldn’t be feeling bad because I feel like I know better. I know that all of our experiences are here to teach us something about ourselves. I know that the way we perceive our emotions is just a thought that we’ve been programmed with. For example… Crying over spilled milk. Why would we cry over spilling our milk if there wasn’t some expectation attached to it. And what is an expectation but a thought we’ve intended for a specific experience.

I realize that our emotions are REAL. We do really feel them. They really affect us physically. We feel a pain in our chest when our heart hurts, we feel flutters in our stomach when we’re nervous. These are all real experiences. Our emotions effect us in our physical body, but first we react through thought about experiences and that is what determines the emotions we feel.

How do we determine how we react to a situation… through an assumption or expectation of how the situation will turn out.

Honestly, I was struggling the past two weeks. I was feeling dark, selfish and self centered. Feeling bad that I only focus on what I desire, what I wish for, what I want…. on what makes me happy in the immediate moment. Feeling like nothing special, like I am not a great being. I am only me, living this existence each moment based off how I want. I felt selfish, horribly selfish…and the hardest part for me to reconcile is that I feel like I shouldn’t be feeling bad because I am light.

Even if we are aware of the light within us, we are still human. We still have thoughts and experiences that involve a full range of emotions. That’s what we are here to do…. experience.

We are here, meant to experience…. if we can become the best person possible through these experiences then why wouldn’t we want to experience everything we can. So when faced with struggles I say… “why not me?” This changes my perspective from… victim of circumstance to ceeqer of self; a C.E.E.Q.E.R. is one who creates, explores, experiments, questions, expresses and reflects on oneself and ones experiences.

My best friend Amber has been pulling cards for us from the I Am Power Deck by Devin at Mystic Moons Tarot for the past few weeks.

This week’s cards were …

What we need to know: I am Light.
What we need to show: I am Human
What we need to grow: I am Thankful

This reading is perfect… we need to remember and know that we are Light… living a human experience. We need to share with one another and show that we are human. It is important to show our human side, because without it we would not be… and so we shall be thankful.

Knowing we are light, and showing we are human through grace.
<3

Raine Dawn

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