Categories
Divine I Am Existence Most Popular Spirituality

Diving Deep – Into the Unknown

Diving deep into my shadows, I’ve found a level of insecurity in presenting myself in this new realm of reality.

I am used to engaging and interacting with people of all ages and all backgrounds, in real life. Being in a room of 30 middle school students working on their art produces an energy like no other.  Interacting with people one on one while I share the gift of henna produces an energy that I have only found through that interaction.

The giving and receiving. I receive from each person and each student, just as I am giving to them. There is nothing like giving gratitude to each person for sharing their time and energy with me. I would always say, I couldn’t do this without you.

But now I am forced to continue on my path without the real life interaction from other people. So I dive deep… to find ways I can be me, and do what I do without other people around. How do I give my gifts without that energy of the room of students, or the one on one contact with another person?

This is proving to be more difficult for me than I would’ve imagined. I am coming upon so many blocks in my mindset. Now I realize, a deeper shadow I am facing… Insecurities, unworthiness, and self doubt when it comes to presenting myself when there is no one around to reflect back to me.  Each person is like a mirror, and I judged how good I was based off of how good everyone else felt. Like their happiness and pleasure in creating was a direct reflection of who I am.

Without those people around… I am here feeling a bit empty.  Doing instructional videos online won’t be the same as instructing people in person. This new venture brings up fears surround my ability to share who I am with others and how others will receive what I am giving when not being in the same physical space. I guess it’s just the energy of the week, with the Scorpio full moon, and the adjustment to this new norm in our society at the moment. The only way I will find out is if I keep moving forward and try something new.

I wonder if there are others out there feeling the same way… feeling a sense of loss from the energy of the classroom, or a sense of insecurity in switching our presentations over to a digital platform. I am sure there must be others feeling like I am.

The Frozen movies come to mind… just let it go and head into the unknown.

The big karmic lesson is to learn to let go of the past and more forward into the new paradigm.  Let go of the fear, and keep moving forward one step at a time.  Remember to have compassion for and be gentle with yourself. The one thing that matters in the end, is simply being your own best friend. You are doing amazing things in this new world. Thank you for sharing what you know, and who you are, with the world. <3

Categories
Art Class Education Most Popular

E(mergency)-Learning

We are in week 4 of online e-learning through Schoology, using Google Meets for virtual meetings.

First I have to say how grateful I am to work for Baltimore County, and to work with such amazing educators. The BCPS visual arts office enlisted the help of my department chair and other art educators to create amazing lessons for our students. We are so fortunate.

The past 4 weeks have been a roller coaster.

As a teacher I have to keep up with my 300 students, who post 3 times a week, grading and giving feedback. It is a lot of desk work, a lot of time spent at the computer.

IMG_20190823_163938_425.jpgI miss being in my classroom.  I miss interacting with my students face to face. I miss the conversations we have, and seeing them light up when they come up with an idea for their project, or when they figure out something and are proud of themselves!

Art is such a hands on interactive activity! I am learning to navigate the balance between the digital and the material experiences. But let me just say again, I really miss my students.

I get to do virtual meetings with them once a week, every other week for 30 mins. It is  challenging to build relationships with 20+ students via a Google Meet in a half an hour. So far I have met with my A day kids twice, and my B day kids once. During our meetings, we have shared something interesting about what we’ve done since we’ve been quarantined, which took all 30 mins!

When my students tell me what they’ve been doing with their time, the majority of them say they are spending A LOT of time doing homework. They have expressed a huge amount of stress from the amount of focus it takes for them to get all of their school work done. Aside from the workload, students have also mentioned they are doing a lot more physical activity then before the quarantine! So that’s a positive!!

Teachers are not to use the meeting time to do new learning or direct instruction. We are to be building relationships and allowing time for students to check in. Part of me wishes I had more time with them so we could do a fun art project! There are a lot of layers to this though…not all kids are in the meetings, not all kids have materials to create an art project with and we have a limited about of time.

Also most of my students do not want to turn their cameras on!! I love seeing my students, so I ask them to please turn their cameras on so I can see them! It’s not the same teaching to a bunch of uppercase letters in colored circles!

I have also been leading google meets for my green club kids!! We have been learning about different edible plants and watching the fruit trees grow!

Aside from teaching my students, I am also assisting my own children in their school work. Doing both is challenging, but we are making it work!

Luckily my kids school has streamlined things on google classroom and my children are starting to really get the hang of everything! We have meltdowns every now and then… but it’s a lot more manageable then the first week!

Overall… we are doing it. We are handling it, we are learning and growing.

Just a reminder that is not simply electronic learning, this is emergency learning.

Be kind, be compassionate, be easy on one another…

Be well.

Categories
Art Art Class Education Existence Most Popular

4 more weeks

Wow so much has happened in a week….yet so little at the same time!

This time last week I was writing about how it felt after 3 days of being off of work.

I feel different than I did last week, that’s for sure. Still a little uneasy, however I feel like this has strengthened my center so I might be more balanced in all things.

So we found out on Wednesday that all Maryland schools will be closed until April 24th. We will find out more about how we are going to implement online learning, sometime next week. I am excited about this new adventure and the opportunity to flip my classroom and lead the way into this digital age! I’ve messaged my students to ask them what type of things they would like to learn about so I can start making some videos. Friday we had our first Zoom faculty meet up! It was nice seeing everyone’s faces!

It’s almost time to get out of my comfy clothes!

Tomorrow starts a week of online professional development about how e-learning will go with my students. Anxious to find out what I am going to have to do so I can start preparing!

I have been messaging my students on Schoology for the past two weeks. A few students have emailed me and sent pictures of their artwork! Check some out below:

<3 Be well

Categories
Divine I Am Earth Education Existence Most Popular

Processing

Today went well…

I could tell students were really in shock and didn’t know what to do. They were quieter.

Today I spoke to them about what was happening, and shared where the online art resources were located for them to do over the next two weeks. These digital resource folders were uploaded to each class, and they are for practice only. If students want to use them over the 2 weeks they can, but they are not mandatory.

We discussed how things might be longer than 2 weeks, and we might have to go to online learning if that happens. They’re responses were, “That would not be good. I can’t focus at home. I won’t ever do any work! I need accountability. I’ll get distracted by Minecraft!” Its funny to me because when everything is normal they don’t want to be in school… but when presented with the opportunity to not being school, they realize they might not have the self control to keep learning up to their potential!

Well then shared with them again that the best thing for them to do right now is to take care of themselves mentally and physically. To take time to rest and breath, not allowing themselves to be overwhelmed with stress or fear.  Using art to help you express how you’re feeling and how your processing this new experience. I encouraged them to keep a journal about it all, and to spend some time creating art that represents this experience for them. 

Also I mentioned they should eat less processed sugar if they can help it, since it does not help their immune system. You should’ve heard how almost every class responded to my sugar comment! It was amazing how defensive they became. So many students said, “What?! Oh No! I dont think I could do that. I love sugar.”    If they only knew how much better they would feel if they had less sugar in their diet!

After school was over I realized I needed to take my plants home with me, because there would be no one there to water them for 2 weeks. So many things I had to consider and contemplate today. Even before going to the grocery store at 4pm.

When I parked at Shoprite, I knew what I was getting myself into.  There wasn’t too much missing when I arrived. The bananas were gone, and so was all the rubbing alcohol, peroxide, toilet paper, and bread. The rest of the store was pretty much stocked. It was so weird.

And then I went to stand in line… and I had to go pretty much halfway down the aisle to get to the end of the line. I waited in line for about 40 mins at least. Everyone was very friendly and polite. Helping each other find what they needed and waiting line while having small talk. It was nice to see people being kind.

Today went well, but was also very overwhelming.

The amount of information, what ifs and questions I had to process today put my mind on overload, and being around all of those people in the grocery store added a level of emotions that were tough to balance.

When I got home from the store all I wanted to do was sit by myself alone, and cry. Releasing all of that tension and energy back into a neutral space of love and balance.

Being alone to process what we experience and feel is a very important part of learning and growing… of knowing thy self.

The energy of this experience is quite new… so slow and steady is the only way to navigate.

Keep breathing, in and out.

Categories
Art Art Class Divine I Am Earth Education Existence Most Popular

COVID-19 FRI-13

The fog was really heavy as I drove in to work today.

With the message from the governor last night, everything seems a little more surreal.

While driving into work, my mind bounced around between many different thoughts: what was today going to be like? Will there be a lot of students out? Can we even get anything done? Should we even worry about school work? How can I make today a less stressful day for myself and my students.

Coming into work, the halls are less crowded… the teachers are all in shock… so surreal.

What do we even do?  Just keep moving forward… steady.

I found out this morning that I will have to upload and share teaching resources with my students while we are on this 2 week break.  I am not sure what the looks like exactly… will I have to teach all day? Will I just have to grade work? Will I have to be available if they need me for something? Are students simply going to complete the work at their own pace?

So many questions, not much answers at the moment. It seems that things are slowly dripping down to us.

The students cleaned their lockers out this morning. Our morning art meeting was canceled due to an emergency leadership team meeting. The visual arts office of BCPS uploaded files to our resource page labeled COVID 19 remote learning, at home resources. I am not sure yet what I am supposed to do with them.

With class about to start… I am sitting here deciding… do I have the student continue to work on their projects as normal? Or do I do something “special” for these special times?

I think we will explore our emotions through a group project I did once, where students received cards with emotions on them and they had to work in groups to create a piece of art that represented that emotion.  Groups would guess one another’s emotions based off the artwork!

I’ll let you know later how it goes today!

<3