So I decided recently to record myself reading the Mishomis book, which is filled with Anishinabe teachings. This has been such a wonderful experience for me. Coming back to the chapters and reading them again has given me new insight. Every time I read it, I learn something new. I am excited to share our Ojibway teachings with you all, so that it might help all to see how connected we all are.
So far I am up to chapter 6, which is a fantastic chapter full of new insight, adventure and awareness. <3 Migwetch
The first 3 days off of work because of the coronavirus came and went.
On Sunday I thought about how I would handle the next day. Was I going to get up, business as usual… or was I going to take the well needed rest.
I decided to take it one day at a time. So on Monday, I woke up without my alarm, around 6:30 am. I decided that it was the perfect day for me to start with yoga. I love being awake before everyone else, and watching my Sara Beth yoga on youtube! I really enjoy her flow.
After yoga, I had some coffee and read a book. It was nice to be able to sit still and quiet for a little while. However there has been this underlying unease… a type of energy that is constantly on… buzzing underneath it all.
When my kids woke up we did school work, and made art!
Two weeks off of work, for social distancing purposes. So I stayed in the house, finished reading the Alchemist, and am working on finishing Mitakuya Oyasin. I am also working on Braiding Sweetgrass.
I worked on a few paintings, did printmaking with my daughter, and cleaned and organized the house.
We also went for a run on the trail, and a hike in the woods.
The grocery stores have been hit or miss. In Pennsylvania the Giant wasn’t too bad… but when I went down to Maryland and their Giant was empty! It’s very interesting to hear how different areas have different reactions to the quarantine.
I have been taking it one moment at a time, trying not to over schedule anything, but also not just sitting around doing nothing. Though sometimes I catch myself sitting and staring. Thinking about what’s going on with the world!
What if we don’t go back to school in 2 weeks? There are rumors of more quarantine, of longer time off of school, if not the rest of the school year… there is so much to process.
Today I emailed all of my students… letting them know they can message me any time. I miss them. I can’t imagine not going back to school for the rest of the year!
Recently I’ve wanted to paint more, however all things have not aligned for me to do so, whether its time or energy. I realize things are cycles but the feelings I’ve been getting have been pretty deep…
My heart keeps saying… Paint, Paint, Paint… be creative, but my mind goes through a process of elimination…. “you don’t have enough time, you don’t know what you want to create, you’ll get interrupted, its too much work.” All of these thoughts constantly swirl through my mind… but my heart keeps beating “Paint, Paint, Paint.”
The other day I was sitting around thinking about painting… feeling like perhaps its not what I should be doing with my time and energy. Maybe I’m supposed to do something more productive, using my time in a more valuable way. Maybe painting isn’t a focus of my life path anymore….. and then my phone buzzed, literally as soon as my thought had completed….
It was the universe answering me…
Almost a year ago I hung some of my artwork at my friend Jaime’s wellness center Relaxing Note. It wasn’t until recently that people started purchasing my paintings there. The other day was one of those days… right as I was questioning wanting to put more focus into painting, when I was questioning if it was valuable and apart of my path to keep painting… the universe sent this message to me…
This was such a wake up call, the angels were definitely speaking to me. I often ask for their guidance when it comes to any unalignment I might feel between my head and my heart and on Saturday they showed up to tell me something…. keep painting.
Its like there’s something keeping me from picking up a brush and putting it in some paint and just doing the thing. Its not like I’m painting any specific image, as I figure doing an intuitive painting would be the easiest to start with…. though I’m not sure that’s the case. I was able to draw 4 different pictures out… specific imagery and clean lines. Nothing too intuitive about them… so why does it feel so hard to just put some paint on the canvas!
I start to ask myself why is that I want to paint but feel unable to take action. What can I do or should I do to start painting… to begin a painting. I go into my studio, I clear off the desk, hang a painting and stand there and stare at it… unable to move… so I pulled some cards…
Whoa… talk about affirmation.
Abundance: Accepting the inner world and denying the outer world, or vice versa keeps us half… and no one who is half can be contented. We must be whole, rich in body, rich in science; rich in meditation, rich in consciousness. We must support our masculine and feminine energies within.
Remembering its all about the balance within and without.
New Vision: Seeing life in all its dimensions, from the depths to the heights. They exist together, and when we come to know from experiences that the dark and the difficult are needed as much as the light and easy, then we begin to have a very different perspective on the world. By allowing all of life’s colors to penetrate us, we become more integrated.
This was how my whole thought about painting started… is there a different perspective I should be seeing my creative energies…other than through painting? Is it ok for me to not be painting even though I feel like I should be? And with that thought I started to feel like I wasn’t aligned, like I was missing something… however I’m constantly realizing there is no missing something… everything is as it should be.
When your inner being opens, first it experiences two directions… the height and depth, and then slowly as this becomes your established situation, we start looking around, spreading into all other directions. This is known as Bhagavat in the ten directions.
Once your height and depth meet, you can look around to the very circumference of the universe. Your consciousness starts unfolding in all ten directions, but the road has been one.
Trust: NOW is the moment to jump. Move into the unknown…even if it scares us to death. When we take trust to the level of the quantum leap we don’t make any elaborate plans or preparations. We don’t say “okay, I trust that I know what to do now, and I’ll settle my things and pack my suitcase and take it with me.” The leap is the thing…and the thrill of it as we free-fall through the empty sky. When we trust, only then can we put our mind aside and open up to the immense infinity we are connected to. Nothing can be taken from us… We cannot lose our real treasure.
Trusting that nothing is wrong… that everything is right, even though I FEEL like there is something out of alignment. Trust and take the leap, just do it.
Silence: Now is a very precious time. Rest inside. There is nothing to do, nowhere to go, and the quality of your inner silence permeates everything you do. It might make you uncomfortable, accustomed as you are to all the noise and activity of the world. Never mind; Seek out those who can resonate with your silence and enjoy your aloneness. Now is the time to come home to yourself. The understanding and insights that come to you in these moments will be manifested later on, in a more outgoing phase of your life.
The understanding and insights that come to you in these moments will be manifested later on, in a more outgoing phase of your life. Wow.
Patience: We have forgotten how to wait. There are times when the only thing to do is to wait. The seed has been planted, the child is growing in the womb, the oyster is coating the grain of sand and making it into a pearl. This card reminds us that now is a time when all that is required is to be simply alert, patient, waiting….contented with no trace of anxiety.
So with this reading I see… my anxiety over if I am doing what I should be doing, or if I am spending my time in the best possible way, is really me not seeing that all is always as it should be. This is a time for trusting in the silence and having patience in the manifestation of new vision.